On this page we cover:
- Losing somebody – grief, bereavement ,mourning
- How does it feel? I’ve never felt like this before
- Time is the greatest healer – create a memory jar
- Help and support – including apps
- Helping a friend
When someone dies, the words you will hear to describe what happened is bereavement, grief and mourning.
Losing someone or something that you care deeply for is one of the hardest things we have to face in our lives.
It can be a confusing time and you may feel overwhelmed with all sorts of difficult emotions.
“I’ve never felt like this before”
Everyone expresses their feelings to grief in different ways
There is no right or wrong way to grief.
You could feel great sadness, relief, disbelief, feel frightened, or numb.
- Find it hard to concentrate.
- Pretend that nothing happened.
- Feel angry, like you want to scream.
- Want to be left alone.
- Feel like a different person.
- Don’t want to eat or want to eat more.
- Feel tired, find it hard to sleep.
- Feel that it’s unfair and no one understands what you’re going through.
- Think that it’s your fault somehow.
- Feel guilty if you didn’t get to say goodbye.
- Have regrets about the last thing you said to them – wish you could have told them how much they meant to you.
These feelings can be very painful to deal with on your own, so try and talk to someone – a trusted adult, friend or you could call a helpline – see below.
Time is the greatest healer
Grieving for the loss of someone is not something that will go away overnight – you can’t escape these feelings, there is no quick fix, you just learn to accept what has happened and take one day at a time.
In time it will get easier, there will always be good and bad days when you miss them.
Remember they would want you to be happy.
Create a memory jar? A memory jar is where you and your family can keep all your happy memories of your loved one in a safe place. Here’s how to create one on the BBC website
Where can I get advice and support?
How can I help a grieving friend?
When a friend is grieving this is not something you can fix or solve for them.
They maybe acting different, are ignoring, or distancing themselves from you – remember your friend is dealing with painful feelings so don’t take it personally.
Let them know you are there for them when they are ready and stay in touch with them.
Things you can do…
- Show you care.
- Be prepared to see your friend in pain.
- Say something like… “Sorry that you’re hurting, I’m here for you” Or “I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in any way I can.”
- Show up – even if they may not want to meet up with you or be around people – it shows you care.
- Don’t take it personally if they may be avoiding you – on social media or not replying to your messages – just give them space.
- Don’t expect them to call or message you if they need you – grief can make simple things like making a call hard, so call and check in on them.
- Be willing to stick by them.
Page updated on September 18th, 2023 at 11:15am