Do you know this song, ‘Messy’ from Olivia Dean? I heard it and it got me thinking about being a bit kinder to myself. What if I gave myself the permission to be a bit messy sometimes? Stop worrying about trying to be like all the people who look like they have it all together… Sometimes we just have to get through it. And realistically they are probably trying to ‘get through it’ too.
Perfectionism is something I try to pull off when I’m feeling a bit stretched. But it generally adds stress to an already difficult situation. Sometimes ‘good’ is ‘good enough’.
Olivia is a self-professed “extreme-perfectionist” and she found great strength and lightness from flipping the word ‘messy’ into a positive.
“I loved the idea of flipping ‘messy’ from being a negative word, into this beautiful thing”.
In an interview with Apple music she said “I think in an age where everybody is pretending their life is amazing, it’s really refreshing to be like, ‘My life’s a mess. And your life’s probably a mess too.’ But that’s fine, that’s the spice of life”.
She wrote the song to herself, to tell herself ‘I’m allowed to be messy. My album doesn’t have to be perfect it has to be me’.
Are you expecting too much from yourself? Are you caught in a cycle of perfectionism? What do you really need right now?
Sometimes we can get caught up in wanting things to be perfect. Maybe thinking that if and when things are ‘perfect’ we will feel happier. Sometimes this feeling of perfectionism – of wanting things (or yourself) to be ‘perfect’ – can take over and become destructive.
If feelings of perfectionism become a problem it could be time to dig a little deeper to find out what is going on:
Am I stressed? Do I feel out of control? Am I feeling overwhelmed? Am I unhappy right now?
If the answer is yes to any of these take a few breaths and ask yourself what you can do to nourish yourself and look after your wellbeing…
- Make a list,
- Speak to someone you trust,
- Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself things will be okay (more ideas on our stress page) or
- Find the proper support you need for your wellbeing (Your Mind).
Ultimately forgive yourself for being a bit messy because ‘messy is okay’.